Smoke, Part 2

i breathe in the smoke
of the scented log fire,
and taste its hints
of chocolate

i blow on
the crisped white
of the candied gob
as it blackens on my
wooden poker

and death
comes to my mind
again
the twisted, innocent corpses
of war

my wife
kisses my cheek
as i let the thoughts
pass
like an unhealed wound
rebandaged

i eat my marshmallow
and forgive myself

Almost Autumn

the trees are clothed
in emerald green
the cicadas
loud and insistent

already brown leaves
crunch
under my feet
the earliest harbingers
of autumn

i sip my warm coffee
sweet with milk
and breathe in heat

hoping for the day
when a frost
chills my lungs
and the emeralds change
to rubies, topaz, and garnet

Sometimes

sometimes i see her
the god of my dreams
a kindness that
i’ve never known

sometimes i feel her
joy and desire
for something
beyond senses
alone

i know where
she comes from,
deep in my heart
from a crevice that’s
never quite full

it’s empty
and aching
this hole in my heart
that’s feeling the goddess’s
pull

i hope to find her
deep down
inside
if i can just
hold on
until

she turns and she sees me,
and holds me so close,
and i feel
her comfort
and thrill

it’s aesthetics
and beauty
bound
to infinite joy
that makes my heart
yearn
for the stars

for when she sees me
and holds me,
so close
and kisses my
infinite scars

and when i accept it,
when i let
her love in,
she humbles me
down
to my knees

my lady of music
my lady of starlight
true, alive,
and free

White Surprise

i suffer from

white surprise,

a condition born

from privilege

shocked, at

injustice

astonished by

the casual racism

of the powerful

my friends of color

smile

and love me anyway

Smoke, Part 1

i breathe in the smoke

of the twenty dollar

cigar,

and taste its hints

of cinnamon

i blow out

the curls of grey

and watch them

twist their way

toward heaven

and I’m reminded

of the incense

of my youth,

which a priest used

to bless the altar

of the Body and Blood

and of the smoke

that rose

from a burning building

as a man

turned black as flame

twisted in the dirt

like cigar smoke

i tap my cigar

and let the ash fall